Your pets are ecstatic to see you, at least. And sleeping in a big bed with your husband is wonderful. But you don’t feel right. It’s not like jetlag, where time is fractured, but disconnection at the core, as if you don’t belong in your own home and never did. For two months you lived with a hundred other people all focused on the same goal: defeating obstacles to get the story on film. Now where’s the battle? Where did your comrades go? You’re alone with that same barking dog next door, like a nightmare out of Edgar Allan Poe, specifically meant to drive you mad. Irritability is high. You’re not interested in food. Actually, you’re not interested in very much.

When more than one person in the industry asks, “Are you recovering?” you begin to realize the post-shoot crash is part of the territory. It’s not only the grueling physical demands of fourteen hour days in hundred degree heat and freezing rain, but the emotional stress of problems by the hour — and the incredible satisfaction of solving them on the run. What you really miss is the manic high of the bipolar creative process.

“Now you know why we get obsessed,” wrote a writer/actor friend, “And life between shoots is just limbo and starts again the next time you see your name on a call sheet, because making movies is all that ever matters. Tough on families and friends but everyone in the industry understands. It’s the intensity of the relationship and the shared purpose of the objective that only your colleagues in the trenches can begin to attach the same value to.”

Three weeks post crash, you feel back in your body and ready for the next, most exciting phase of all: seeing the movie cut together for the first time. Then comes music, effects, and . . . the audience.

I was reading Good Morning Killer while waiting for the bus this morning. When it pulled up, I got on without looking up. Still on the bus 45 minutes later, it’s pouring rain and hail and no one can figure out how close I am to the roof hatch that I’m sitting under. Which is of course when I finally stopped reading and noticed that not only am I getting pelted, but I’m on the wrong bus, in the wrong part of town, and I’m late for work. But I’m laughing maniacally because it means that I get to read more while I dry off and wait for another bus to take me back.

That, my friend, is the definition of a good read.

- Staci Woodburn, San Francisco

Ryan McDonald holds back the crowd of mourners

Although we had to keep moving to finish our days, the tension was mixed with a new mood of nostalgia. One by one the actors were finishing their stints and leaving. “Ladies and Gentleman, Mr. McDonald is wrapped for the show!” the first assistant director would call, and everyone gathered for hugs. Good-byes had to be quick because we had to go to the next shot, and most likely the actor had to catch a plane, but every time it was a loss — a light going out. People were giving little gifts — I gave away FBI coins and signed copies of my books. I was touched to find a bouquet of flowers in my trailer from an admirer.

"On the porch" with Lisa Towers and Bill Devane

My buddy, the formidably talented line producer, Lisa Towers, and I were already mourning our last days “on the porch” of our video tent where we’d dissect budgets, rumors and menus. With her help, I found lovely pastries from uber-grocery store Meinhardt on South Granville, to thank the crew — the only bright spot in a day where we had to cut a scene and everyone in the cast had gone except Catherine Bell. The last day was better because the sun was shining and William Devane had arrived to play Catherine’s grandfather, Poppy. We were set up in a low-key neighborhood where every passing woman over 50 cooed at Bill, “I saw you in Falcon Crest!” and crew members posed with him “For my aunt.” He was delightful. The crew had already started packing equipment so when the final announcement came at 9 PM, “Ladies and Gentlemen — Miss Catherine Bell is wrapped for the show!” they were mostly done. I was astonished that thirty minutes later there was barely a trace of us at all. The big trucks waited in the shadows, but the cameras were gone, the street deserted. The circus was leaving town.

The last day -- Bill Devane and director Maggie Greenwald

Immediately following, about twenty-five of us from all the departments — camera, hair and makeup, props, producers, director and Catherine — gathered in a local micro-brewery and toasted to friendship forever. It was nice that people came who said, “I never come to these things.” We all agreed it was a fitting end to a great shoot. We’d done it. The film was in the can; we got it all. But it was not the end. The hardest part was yet to come; which I would discover when I got home.

Ana's captured in Ray Brennan's studio of horrors

The Team Works on a Case -- or is it "Hangman?"

Special Response Team Plus One

Chemistry anyone?

On the tenth day of shooting, the gray clouds that had been sitting low over the weekend finally broke. “Welcome to Vancouver,” everyone said. Until then the weather had been unseasonably warm, blessing us with bright sun that made our mini-mall scenes look like summer in Los Angeles. On the very day we moved into the huge industrial space forty minutes out of town, where we had built three sets — it rained like crazy. We took it as a good sign that someone was looking out for us.

The week started hot and heavy with the big love scene between Catherine Bell (FBI Agent Ana Grey) and Cole Hauser (SMPD Detective Andrew Berringer). Their characters have been corrupted by the toxic effects of chasing a serial sexual predator, and they make love with savage, almost sadistic intensity. It was a closed set, but from what I saw on the monitors, these two together are not like anything you’ve seen on TV.

Shooting in the “war room” and “bull pen” really brought the actors together as the Special Response Team. They enjoyed each other, and it showed — the nuances and rivalries came easily (as did championship games of “Hangman” between takes). For me the workplace banter and intimacy are the heart of the show, and I was more excited about the way they confronted each other over principles, or shared secrets in the break room, than all the SWAT action in the world.

But the most heavy-duty stuff took place on the last two days, in Ray Brennan’s house — the “killer” of the piece — masterfully and courageously played by James Jordan — who takes women to his lair to photograph their gruesome final moments. Even though we’d approved those photos, taken by stills photographer Cate Cameron using actresses, a whole wall of them made a shocking impact. It was draining and upsetting to film in that set. “It all came from your mind,” someone told me. I protested. It was the mind of a psychopath! Wasn’t it?

We were well into overtime and the Chinese buffet was cooling fast, but we still couldn’t get to the denoument until 2 AM — then it was a blast. Literally. The building was cleared so that special effects could blow the door open and set off blinding flash-bangs, as FBI SWAT and Ana Grey captured the bad guy and saved the day. I got to bed around three — not nearly enough time to recharge for the final wrap.

What are the most hours you’ve ever worked without a break?

On Wednesday the weather changed, from hot LA sunshine to overcast skies. It was perfect for the day of our big SWAT takedown, all exterior work, lots of extras, vehicles, and action. We went twelve hours until we lost the light — and no, you can’t artificially create daylight. The very next day it poured. But the scheduling gods were kind, and it was the first day of our move to the set we had built for the FBI offices. Indoors! Cozy! No worries about daylight! The Vancouverites amongst us say this is the end of summer. Just like that. Today we have heavy clouds and lower temperatures — minus seven degrees in Ottawa. Hello, winter.

FBI SWAT takes the bad guy down

I almost cried when I saw the set for the FBI war room for the first time. Production designer Steve Geaghan, Art Director Suki Parker and Set Decorator Alexandra Ryoek are world class talents, who created an authentic space for our actors to live and breathe. Lit by the dazzling Jon Joffin and photographed by Marty McInally, it’s beyond my wildest dreams. [align="alignleft" width="300" ][/caption]

From this --

. . . To this!

Now that we’re “home” at the FBI office, shooting is going quickly and the characters are settled in. It’s a joy to see Ana in her rightful place: running the case.

Ana runs the Santa Monica Kidnapping case

We’ve already dodged bullets on this production. The night before the first day of filming a member of the production quit the movie. The second day I was stung by a bee (thankfully not allergic). The third day a grip accidentally received a huge electric shock and went to the hospital. (He was back a few hours later.) Day four, there was an earthquake in Vancouver. On day five, while driving to location, our beloved director and her assistant just missed a steel rod that flew off the truck in front of them. And last night, a co-worker became ill and had to be rushed to the hospital, at the same time a major water leak threatened to flood a newly built set, and a plumber had to be found at midnight on a Sunday. It’s a good thing we have two days off, don’t you think?

My big thrill today was meeting Titus Welliver, who arrived on set to play Mike Donnato, Ana’s ex-supervisor and stalwart support at the Bureau. You may remember Titus from Lost and The Town. He’s perfect. He educated me about gluten-free living and VitaMix. He has the most gorgeous skin you’ve ever seen. He and Adrian Holmes, who plays the slick FBI agent Kyle Vernon, looked sharp in their dark suits despite the blazing weather.

Douglas was a trouper and spent two full days on the set. As a psychotherapist, I’m sure he had many observations. Today we’re going to Go Fish, the legendary fish and chips place on charming Granville Island, a ferry-bus ride away. Then fresh martinis at Quest, maybe an organic dinner at Bishop’s. Tomorrow we’d better take a LONG walk — maybe to Stanley Park and rent bikes or around Gastown. Then he goes back to LA and 7:00 AM on Wednesday, we stage a climactic siege including FBI and SMPD SWAT. Stay tuned.

Bare space becomes a set

The rape treatment center

Catherine Bell, Cole Hauser and Frank C. Turner

Titus Welliver and Adrian Holmes

James Jordan and Genevieve Buechner

Yours truly

We had Sunday and Monday off, and we need it since the call tomorrow is 6:45 AM. Our first shot will be part of a big scene in the Chinese garden, where young girls model for amateur photographers — based on actual “Photo Days” held in the Japanese Garden in Glendale. It’s where our bad guy, played by James Jordan (Ray Brennan), finds his prey.

LEFT: Stephanie Halber, photographed in the Chinese garden during pre-production, plays Ray Brennan’s latest victim. It was Stephanie’s 21st birthday and she had to play a dead girl!

Empty space that will become the FBI war room complete with high-tech media screens.

Production designer Steve Geaghan has a question for director Maggie Greenwald and writer/exec producer April Smith: “How in hell am I supposed to build this in two weeks?”

Director Maggie Greenwald, Executive Producer Frank Von Zerneck, and yours truly. Without cell phones!